"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
