this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
