Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
