So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
