I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
