dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
