and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
