if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
