we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
