Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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