She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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