I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm like, not good at living.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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