Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just had sex bonerless
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
