yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
