His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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