her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
