so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
