Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
