I'm going to jail i love you
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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