Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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