I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
