i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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