3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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