I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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