also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The best revenge is premature balding
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
