there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
