like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
