You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I party with great urgency now.
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