Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
soo... how was my night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
