With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
