oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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