now i know why i became what i already was.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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