mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
