It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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