Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
