I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize