Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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