his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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