The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
