I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
