she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
