The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
