We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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