I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
