We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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