I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
