You smell like stripper and shame
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
