Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
