I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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