lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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