I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Threesome in a minivan. New low
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
