i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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