I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
