she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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