to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
