whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
