Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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