There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
