is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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