Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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