I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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