If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
